Voting is Your Right and Responsibility

October 9, 2015October 9, 2015 / From My Hart / Leave a comment

Yesterday, Thursday (Oct. 8), was Election Day in Memphis. Residents had the opportunity to vote on a new mayor and members of the City Council among other positions. [DISCLAIMER: I never reveal who received my vote.]

It’s the day after. Has anyone taken their Morning After Pill yet? Anyone trying to prevent some disaster after your candidate lost their bid? With so many Monday Morning Quarterbacks on this Friday I had to double check my calendar to make sure I hadn’t slept through the entire weekend.

Like it or not, we reside in a democratic country. Aside from major voter controversies (i.e. Bush vs. Gore), candidates who won did so fair and square. The day after an election is not the time to throw tomatoes at the ones who were victorious or to throw them under the bus when they haven’t even technically stepped foot onto it. If your candidate did not win, you must accept defeat and move forward.

This blog post, however, is not about being politically correct in statements on social media and all the trash talking I have seen in the last 12 hours. This post is about the absolutely embarrassing and disgusting number of individuals who did not even cast a vote at all.

Sure, we could point fingers. Hell, I could look in the mirror and blame myself. Admittedly, I didn’t do anything in this election cycle to encourage people to register to vote or to actually go to the polls. You could say I’m part of the problem. I accept that and know what I need to do the next time.

With all that being said, let me address those who plan to run for office in the future. Whether you voted for President Barack Obama or not, do you know WHY he won the last two elections? Yes I know it was a presidential election. And yes I know it was historical because he is an African-American man. He won the elections because he had an unprecedented ground game and strategy. He had folks in his camp walking door to door not just in neighborhoods they were comfortable being in, but they went to communities with individuals who are often forgotten until election time and lit a fire in the younger generations who so heavily rely on social media.

Let’s take a moment to look at the demographics of Memphis, Tennessee. According to the last census (2014), we have a population estimate of 656,861 of which 63.3% is African-American. According to the Urban Dictionary (credible source, right?!? ha!), those in the millennial generation were born between 1982 and 1994. Other (probably more credible sources) have a larger gap claiming these individuals were born between 1980 and 2000. My point? I have one. I’m getting there!

In Memphis, here is a breakdown of the number of people who fit that millennial generation description via the latest statistics (keep in mind many of these could be college students who may vote in their home state during election time…..I know I did):

18-19 year olds: 9,131

20 year olds: 4,668

21 year olds: 4,530

22-24 year olds: 14,573

25-29 year olds: 24,394

30-34 year olds: 21,236

_______________________________________________________________________________

TOTAL: 78,532 (of course this is just an estimate)

As I stated on someone else’s Facebook status, we need to find out if the individuals above are voting and if not….why not. We need to go to the barbershops, beauty salons, neighborhood basketball courts, nightclubs, public meetings, etc. Imagine if every single millennial voted yesterday in addition to the other generations. We would not have seen such a piss poor turnout. The numbers have not been verified yet (at least I don’t think), but it appears roughly 100,000 votes were cast in yesterday’s election. 100,000? Of 656,000???? Come on Memphis. We HAVE to do better.

Like it or not, we will have a new mayor in office beginning in 2016, and yes he is white which hasn’t happened in a couple decades. Keep in mind, he did technically receive the greatest number of votes in a landslide (shoutout to my Facebook friend Emily Yellin for her AWESOME status last night about landslides! LOL!). In all seriousness though, hold him accountable. He will work for the residents of Memphis. He will be my mayor, your mayor…..OUR mayor.

And that ladies and gentlemen is democracy for you.

As always….these are just a few thoughts “From My Hart.”

Today is Your Day!

October 5, 2015 / From My Hart / Leave a comment

On October 5, 1951 a queen was born by the name of Paula Michelle Parker.

To most, Paula has been knows as the following:

President of Girls State
Indianapolis 500 Princess
Model for Seventeen Magazine after being selected as one of the top 20 U.S. high school girls in 1969
Northwest High School graduate (and subsequent member of the Indianapolis Public Schools Hall of Fame)
Indiana University graduate (Bachelor’s and Master’s)
Recipient of Honorary Doctorate of Laws from Butler University
First female Deputy Mayor for the city of Indianapolis
Former City County Councilwoman
Philanthropist
Director of Indiana’s Office of Faith Based and Community Initiatives
Indiana University administrator and professor
Member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated

Your other titles:

Daughter
Sister
Wife
Grandmother
Aunt
Friend

To me…..she’s known simply for three letters: MOM!

Happy birthday mom! You have broken the glass ceiling, mentored many, fought (and still fighting) to reduce Indiana’s infant mortality rate, been a shoulder for my tears and stood right by my side during the good and bad times.

Today is YOUR day! You have earned it! ENJOY IT!!!!!!!

I love you!

As always, these are just a few thoughts….”From My Hart.”

My Daughter = My Motivation

September 30, 2015 / From My Hart / Leave a comment

Today is September 30 and the last day of Infant Mortality Awareness Month. If you follow me on social media sites, you know I work in public health. It’s part of my daily responsibilities to inform the public (and media) about all things related to public health. Some days I discuss light topics such as encouraging people to get their flu shots but others are rather heavy like infant mortality. There’s absolutely nothing fun about babies dying in utero or before their first birthday.

I am good at what I do. Yes, I said it, and it’s the honest truth. When it comes to medicine and public health, I just have a way of using my communications expertise to educate my community.

Of course, it isn’t always easy when you have your own personal story. It’s difficult to talk about babies dying when your own child was stillborn. I only publicly talk about my daughter a few times a year…usually on her birth/death date and Mother’s Day. Generally, I don’t speak about her vocally either only because it more often times than not leads to tears falling down my cheeks. I had a normal and rather healthy pregnancy until one day I became ill….very ill. Matter of fact the rest is really a blur.

For whatever reason, A’Layla (my daughter) was heavy on my spirit today and really this entire month. A part of me believes she was reminding me to keep pushing even through my own personal feelings because no other mother should have to endure the agony and pain I did. I constantly think back to 2006 and wonder what I could have or should have done differently.

Infant mortality can occur for a variety of reasons…..from prematurity to babies not being in a safe sleep environment. If you are a woman of child-bearing age, be sure to take your daily dose of folic acid which helps prevent serious birth defects of the spinal cord (such as spina bifida) and the brain (such as anencephaly). Get plenty of physical activity before, during and even between pregnancies. Know the ABCs of Safe Sleep. Babies should always sleep ALONE, on their BACKS and in their own CRIB.

What happened to me and my daughter was very much a freak occurrence that even the physicians couldn’t explain, but I will continue to use my situation as motivation to preach the same messages. We can reduce the infant mortality rates in our communities if we all work together.

As always….these are just a few thoughts “From My Hart.”

Happy Anniversary to Me!

September 3, 2015September 3, 2015 / From My Hart / 3 Comments

It’s my anniversary! No, it’s not an anniversary of a marriage. It’s not an anniversary of my job. Nope, it’s not even an anniversary of a relationship.

Today is my anniversary of life.

Six years ago I became very ill. Six years ago I only weighed 115 pounds. Six years ago I thought I just had a cold. Matter of fact, we were in the middle of the H1N1 outbreak, and, for a moment, I wondered if that’s what was making me sick. Six years ago my career was my life, and I worked what seemed to be around the clock. Six years ago my brother Patrick and I were roommates. Six years ago I woke up suddenly from my sleep in the middle of the night and discovered I was having trouble breathing. As I tried to stand up, I fell from my bed. Six years ago Patrick heard my fall from two stories below and realized I had collapsed….

Craziest thing…..the rest is very foggy to me. I remember being rushed by ambulance to the hospital. I remember Patrick calling our mom (who lived in D.C. at the time) and our Grandmama who lived not far from us.

Unfortunately though, I don’t remember all the details. Why? I didn’t realize I had gone into DKA (Diabetic Ketoacidosis for those who aren’t familiar…..it happens to individuals with Type 1 Diabetes, aka Juvenile Diabetes) and was on the verge of going into septic shock. No, the two things were completely separate issues but merged together made for the perfect storm and one of the scariest moments for my family. I was immediately put into the Intensive Care Unit and connected with every monitor imaginable. One day later, I was rushed into surgery to remove and stop an infection which literally almost killed me.

One thing I do remember is the look on the faces of my family members when they came to visit me in the ICU and subsequently once I was stable and moved to another room on a regular floor. My life nearly came to a tragic end because I pushed myself (and my body) to the limits.

So, today I celebrate! I celebrate life and all its unexpected twist and turns I have experienced in these short 35 years on this earth. I celebrate a wonderful and rewarding career in public relations which I absolutely love. I celebrate my family. I celebrate the people who are in my life and truly want to be. Most importantly, today I celebrate ME!

Happy Anniversary to Me!

As always…..these are just a few thoughts “From My Hart.”

I Hope I’m Still Making You Proud

August 21, 2015September 3, 2015 / From My Hart / Leave a comment

I haven’t been in the greatest spirits for the last week, and it hit me as to why. This Saturday, August 22, marks nine years since my dad, James Sawyers, earned his wings and went home. He may not have been my biological father, but he was the only father I knew, respected and who raised me from the time I was two years old.

With every passing day, I wish I could have just one more conversation with him…one more heart to heart discussion about career….life…..and yes, men. I will never forget the day I graduated from Alabama A&M University and dad telling me just how proud he was of me. After watching me struggle my Freshman year to flourishing as a news reporter for one of the local radio stations my Senior year, dad took me aside privately before the ceremony and told me I could achieve absolutely anything I put my mind to doing.

For those who lived in Indianapolis in 1978, you probably remember the infamous Blizzard of ’78. Even though I wasn’t even born yet and he and my mother hadn’t met at that point, I have heard story after story about how amazing he was as the Communications Officer for the City of Indianapolis. Little did anyone know I would follow in his footsteps as a public relations beast a few decades later.

The day before you died you called me….just to say one thing. You called to tell me you love me. And while my heart still hurts because you’re gone, I am so grateful those were the last three words you ever spoke to me.

This one’s for you dad. I hope I am continuing to make you proud. I love you, and I always will.

As always, these are just a few thoughts “From My Hart.”

A Sad Day in Memphis

August 2, 2015September 3, 2015 / From My Hart / Leave a comment

An officer with the Memphis Police Department was shot and killed Saturday night after pulling over a vehicle for a traffic stop.

Let that marinate for a moment.

The alerts began surfacing not long after 9:00 p.m. local time via social media pages. When I first saw the updates, all I could do is shake my head, but then the announcement was made. The officer had been killed in the line of duty. I dropped my head and sulked for a moment.

A traffic stop. A fucking traffic stop.

Let me say this before anyone even remotely thinks about coming for me because I chose to grieve this officer’s death. I grieve every loss of life at the hands of violence. I grieved for Trayvon Martin. I grieved for Eric Gardner. I grieved for Sandra Bland. I grieved for Darius Stewart. I grieved for Vicdarrius Pollard. I grieved for all the victims. So why would I do anything different for this victim?

Details are beginning to emerge about his life. Officer Sean Bolton was a 33 year old father, husband and marine. Media reports indicate he represented our country in Iraq and was an integral part of the MPD force tackling burglaries in the community he served.

Did I know this man? No, but this hits close to home because I live in this city. I work with members of MPD via my position with my employer. I know some amazing officers who truly love this city and who knowingly accept the every day dangers associated with their responsibilities. Police officers are not paid what they should earn, but, much like me as a fellow government employee, they do it for their community and the love they have for their profession.

Are there very questionable police officers in this country? Yes, we know that as evident from the multitude of police brutality cases we have heard of lately. However, in the midst of our plight and struggle to remind everyone that black lives still matter, let us not forget there are good and responsible officers who protect and serve us every single day.

Lets remember them. Lets pray for them. Lets mourn with them, especially today, as they deal with the reality of the loss of one of their brothers.

This is truly a sad day in Memphis, TN.

Change is Necessary at IBE

July 21, 2015April 12, 2017 / From My Hart / 3 Comments

Dear IBE and Indianapolis Community:

It’s that time of year. The Indiana Black Expo, Inc. (IBE) Summer Celebration has just ended, and it seems everyone is playing “Monday Morning Quarterback” now that the event is over. Before I begin explaining why I believe change is necessary for IBE, let me first start by talking about why I really do love the institution and the powerful pillar of the community it has been for 45 years.

It’s no secret that I have history with IBE. I have been quite outspoken about it, but my relationship with the organization began much earlier than the short time I served as its Director of Communications and Public Relations. As a child, I was introduced to IBE by way of my mother who once served as Deputy Mayor for the city of Indianapolis not to mention our close personal relationship with Rev. Charles Williams’ family. I attended private school for the majority of my school-aged years and appreciated attending the IBE-sponsored events to learn about my culture and so much more. Because of IBE’s Circle City Classic, I was introduced to Historically Black Colleges and Universities. Because of IBE’s Circle City Classic, I attended and graduated from Alabama A&M University (Go Bulldogs). I would not be who I am today if it hadn’t been because of the time I spent at Alabama A&M and thus IBE. My point? I will always have love for the institution that is IBE. It is an organization with so much potential, especially in these tough times we are currently experiencing.

Now…the real reason for this blog.

IBE is currently on life support, and I can hear the monitor slowing down even here in my home in Memphis, TN. Volunteers are few and far between (thank goodness for those who are still on board). Sponsors have been significantly reduced (remember the days when events such as the Free Concert were actually sponsored by a major company?). As someone said the other day, bridges have been so badly burned that many folks ran for the hills and those still around are hanging on by a thread. While word on the street is Sunday’s attendance in the Indiana Convention Center was significantly more than the previous days, what does that really say when photos from Saturday practically show tumbleweeds through the exhibition halls and downtown streets? Let’s not forget Sunday was absolutely free. If you can’t convince people to attend a free event, what does that say?

I believe IBE needs to hit Control+ALT+Delete. It needs a complete overhaul. With all due respect to the current IBE board members, it’s time for new blood, new faces, new ideas…..ones who more accurately represent the Indianapolis community and not just individuals who have deep pockets or political influence. Of course the biggest change needs to begin with the top. It is past time for Tanya Bell to be replaced as the CEO. For those who follow me on social media sites, I have likened the situation to a basketball and football coach. When they are no longer “winning,” a change of the guard is necessary.

IBE has lost touch with the Indianapolis community. So many have lost respect for the organization. So many suggestions have been given over the last several years and seem to fall on deaf ears. Change is necessary to grow. For example, DJ Kid Capri is a legend, but there are so many other great ones, many of which live right there in Indianapolis with a significant following…such as DJ Kenny Kixx, DJ Metrognome, DJ Limelight, DJ Skrill, DJ JF and so many more. The young professionals are the new generation of leaders and have launched very successful campaigns. Yet, I have heard from more than one of those leaders that their ideas have been dismissed.

Oh, let me also throw in this other suggestion. Social media is the new means of disseminating information. First of all, do not only post on social media when talking about buying tickets. When I was the Director of Communications, I posted a black history fact every single day. It was so popular I would receive emails on days when it wasn’t posted by 3:00 p.m. Partner with other organizations in Indianapolis. You can share their events and promote what they do. Surely the Indianapolis Urban League, Madame Walker Theater and many others would appreciate the support. Speaking of social media, it was listed on all the promotional materials yet I saw (from here in Memphis) the frustration from individuals who didn’t hear about the free concert being cancelled directly from IBE on social media.

Now, let me be very frank. Y’all (yes, that’s the Memphis in me now) can miss me with all the “Positive Rosy” comments about how things are better and folks are working together to make sure IBE doesn’t die. I have been privy to many offline conversations where individuals have expressed their frustration. I heard a comment on the Afternoons with Amos show on AM 1310 that made me literally laugh out loud. The caller was telling the listeners they need to volunteer and pay dues to the local IBE chapter. NEWS FLASH! No one will actually volunteer and give their hard earned money only to see the same results.

You want to save IBE? I know I do. It’s time for the Indianapolis community to band together and demand changes. I don’t mean just suggest them. The list of Board of Directors is on the IBE website (www.indianablackexpo.com). Not sure how accurate it is, but a simple phone call could confirm that. Look them up. Find out who they are. A simple Google search would give you their addresses. Tell them your demands. Tell them what you want to see changed.

We can’t keep having this same conversation every single year. Change is necessary. The time is now. In 365 days, I don’t want to have to write a blog about how IBE no longer exists.

As always, these are just a few thoughts “From My Hart.”

Forgiveness is Choosing to Love

June 5, 2015September 3, 2015 / From My Hart / Leave a comment

Whew. I guess it has been a minute since I published anything on my blog. I really am going to try and stick with it this time. Lord knows I have plenty to say! Well, this blog is about forgiveness and moving forward.

Three weeks ago today I received a very surprising text message from someone I didn’t expect to still have my phone number. It was a message (in any form) I had been waiting many years to receive. Let’s put a pin in that for a moment. I’ll come back to it.

Forgiveness hasn’t always been easy for me. I can admit it. I am a 35 year old woman who still struggles with forgiveness. When someone has done something hurtful or wrong to me, I tend to hold onto it and not let go. It’s almost as if time freezes, and I just can’t manage to move forward. Yet, time and time again, the pain continues to build deep in my soul and spirit. The mere mention of the individual who upset me raises my blood pressure almost instantaneously. Emotions range from anger to an uncontrollable crying spell. At times I may call a friend or two (usually my best friend Erin) or a family member. It really depends on the situation or the individual who wronged me.

Unfortunately, it never seemed to get me anywhere. I would cry, curse out loud for a few minutes (and yes, I have a potty mouth…especially when I’m angry), scream and yell. But where was it getting me? It got me nowhere other than in the grocery store buying food I had no business purchasing to mask the hurt and pain caused by someone other than myself yet I, Elizabeth Marie, was contributing to my own weight problems by consuming unnecessary calories.

Life is funny. When you see others acting a certain way after someone wronged them, we as humans are very willing to offer advice and suggestions we may have previously read in a book or a magazine. Yet, when it comes to our own livelihood, we don’t even see the obvious. We may hear advice from our friends and loved ones, but we are more than likely not listening. It usually takes something pretty drastic for the light bulb to flash and then POW, we get it. It all makes sense. At that very moment, you realize it’s time to accept what happened, move forward and forgive them. It’s not about forgiving them so they feel better. It’s about forgiving them so YOU feel better. That weight can now be lifted off your shoulders. You no longer have to be angry. You no longer have to cry. You no longer have to hurt.

Now, let’s get back to this text message.

My dad died in 2006. He was the man who raised me. He was the man who practically never missed my basketball or soccer games when I was a child. He was the man who sat proudly in the 90 degree Alabama temperatures to watch me graduate from college. He was THE man, but he wasn’t the man who was biologically my dad. He met and married my mom when I was two years old. He stepped to the plate when someone else did not.

My biological father was absent most of my life. I know who he is and have always known. He has never made a concerted effort to get to know who I am or even the kinds of food I like to eat. He doesn’t know about my past relationships with men. He was never present when I was in and out of hospitals my entire life due to a variety of reasons. He was not the man my dad was….far from it.

This is not a blog post to bash him or take inventory of all the events and moments he missed in my life. This blog post is about the text I received from him on that Friday.

For so long, I wondered why. Why doesn’t he want me? Why doesn’t he want to be a part of my life? Why did this happen to me? Is this why I have struggled with my own relationships with men? So many questions would circle my head with never a clear answer….until that Friday.

I received an apology. No, it was not a long drawn out apology making excuses for his absence. Just a simple apology for not being the father he knows he should have been. I’ll admit. I was in shock. I did not know how to react and certainly had no idea what to say in my reply. I cried. I cried for a long time. I shut down. Why now? Is he dying? Did something happen? I cried the entire weekend.

But on that Sunday, it hit me. After a gut-wrenching crying spell and long embrace from the man in my life who has been an unbelievable support system, I realized it was time to let go. It was time to accept the past for what it was. It was time for me to forgive Walter for all the moments he missed. It was time to move forward with my life.

I don’t want anything. I really have no desire to speak to him again. And I’m okay with that. After 35 years, I finally understand why it is so important to forgive.

Until next time…….these have been just a few thoughts “From My Hart.”

Gone but Not Forgotten–Happy Birthday Dad!

January 20, 2015September 3, 2015 / From My Hart / Leave a comment

His name was James Sawyers. He was born January 20, 1943. He was my dad.

No, technically he was not my biological father (that’s another story in and of itself….stay tuned to a later blog), but he stepped into the role with basically zero hesitation when he married my mother. I remember when he and mom would tell me the story of the day I first met him. Evidently I hid underneath the table which most two year olds do, right?!?! I mean I didn’t even know this guy!

Fast forwarding to my adolescent years, I played pretty much every sport imaginable, and my dad was essentially my personal coach. From basketball to soccer, he was always there to support me, cheer for me and yell at the opposing teams! LOL! No matter how busy he was, he always managed to be there. He knew it meant the world to me even though I would be embarrassed and mad when he cussed everyone out because the referees would call a foul on me. The nerve of them….Ha!

High school was definitely a difficult time. I was a teenager. Enough said. But no matter how strained our relationship had become, he beamed with pride when I graduated from North Central High School. Go Panthers!

Then came the time for me to leave for college and thus began the most tumultuous yet most memorable years.

I left college after only one semester. To make a long story short, I had a boyfriend back home and well you know how that story ended. I will never forget dad taking me aside to remind me just how important my college education is and even though I was not in school I still had to work a 40 hour a week job. When I realized just how much I did NOT like living back in my parents’ house at the age of 19, I remembered our talk and very quickly applied to get back into my beloved university. That was the best decision I have EVER made.

Because of my dad and the love of his career, I graduated in 2004 from Alabama A&M University with my B.A. in Communications. Because of my dad, I decided to dive into the world of public relations.

He communicated while he was in the U.S. Navy. He communicated with the media and public while working for multiple politicians. He communicated with at-risk youth as both an educator and community volunteer. He communicated for a living. Yet, his communication went silent on the morning of August 22, 2006.

2006 was by far the WORST year our family has ever experienced (more on that in a later blog). I remember it like it was just yesterday. On August 21st, dad called me and my brothers (all separately) just to tell us how much he loved us. He randomly made those phone calls so it really didn’t surprise any of us. Little did I know that would be the last time I would ever talk to him.

Dad loved me like his own. He held my hand and cried with me during my darkest hours. He was one of my biggest cheerleaders.

With all that being said, today I want to publicly scream to the heavens HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!! You are so greatly missed.

As always…..these have been just a few thoughts “From My Hart.”

Still a Proud Member of Colts Nation!

January 19, 2015September 3, 2015 / From My Hart / Leave a comment

Horrific is an understatement. I honestly don’t even know what to say about that AFC Championship game between by hometown Indianapolis Colts and the New England Patriots.

Let’s look on the positive side…..We made it to the AFC Championship Game while many other teams were at home watching it on their television. Only a few short years ago, the Colts were 2-14. Yep, that atrociously sad season which culminated in the leadership cleaning house completely, including letting Hall of Fame bound Peyton Manning go. It was a tough decision and one many didn’t like, but in the end it was best for the team’s future.

Then Indianapolis was introduced to a man named Andrew Luck. The transition from Manning to Luck was practically seamless. Yes, adjustments needed to be made, but the team was ready to quiet all the naysayers.

When this current season first started, I guarantee some (won’t say all) of you didn’t even know the names Vonate Davis or Sergio Brown. Be honest. All of the players worked as a team one game at a time.

The Colts had to overcome so many adversities. Before the season even began, Robert Mathis was suspended several games for violating the league’s policy on banned substances (which I still to this day believe was a bullshit suspension) followed by his subsequent injury which ultimately took him completely out the entire season. Of course, I will admit I am slightly biased because he is a fellow Alabama A&M University Bulldog but hey this is my blog damnit!

We still have our problems on defense, but we just need more consistency. They used so much effort and energy in the game against the Denver Broncos that I believe they just ran out of steam. No, I’m not making excuses. A loss is a loss.

Oh…..and let’s not forget the world’s worst trade for Trent Richardson. Dude, seriously???

Ahhhh…..but I digress.

Naturally, I received the phone calls and texts from those who are not Colts fans, but I just shrugged them off.

I believe in Colts Nation and will ALWAYS root for and stand by my home team, win or lose. We made it one step closer to the ultimate prize so we know what needs to be done for next season.

And one final note. I will NOT be rooting for either team in the Super Bowl. I will still watch because I love the game, but I am no bandwagon fan. Even though I absolutely, positively do NOT like the New England Patriots, I will not root for the Seattle Seahawks because well….I’m just not.

Even though I live in Memphis currently, I was born and raised in Naptown. I bleed blue. I am and will always be a proud member of Colts Nation. Now….give me two claps and a Ric Flair! Whewwwwwww!!!

Until next time…..these have been just a few thoughts “From My Hart.”