When I first started writing this blog post, I was still angry and perhaps even slightly bitter due to a recent situation. I, however, spoke to a couple of my friends and decided to take a completely different approach with this topic. After attending church this morning, I realized my thought process had completely evolved from a few days ago, and my heart is in a much better place now.

Let me start by saying dating when you’re 35 is NOT easy. Naturally, at this point in our lives, most women (can’t say all) would like to get married and have a child or two or three. We set our standards and open our hearts to potential suitors. In the beginning, we may date a couple of men (or women if that’s your preference) at one time to determine who would be a better match, and at some point one will lead the pack and ultimately grab our full attention.

The reality is either that man (or woman) will ultimately become our husband (or wife) or the relationship (or in slang terms “situationship”) will inevitably end. It’s the way it ends which usually is the difficult part. The woman most often times will reflect on perhaps the missed queues and/or red flags. We experience the array of emotions from anger to frustration to hurt and sadness, but it’s how we pick up the pieces following the end of the relationship which determines how (and quite frankly when) we move forward.

It’s important to experience all of the aforementioned emotions. Get it out. Scream. Cry. Talk to your friends and loved ones. Finally, pray about it. Ask God to give you the guidance and the strength. The road to healing can be a long one. Some may be okay within a few days and others may take a week or two or three or four, but you must decide what works best for you.

The details of what happened with the last man I dated are not important and certainly not for public consumption because there are undoubtedly those who may read my blog looking for them (let me take this time to wave!). Instead, I hope someone reading this will think about their last relationship. Whether you want to admit or not, you did in fact at one point have good times with your significant other. They I’m sure made you laugh, smile and fill your love tank even if just for one moment.

Someone asked me if I hate the individual I’m referencing. My answer: absolutely not. I may not like them or the things they have done, but the reality is they were evidently not the man for me. I wish them well. I refuse to feel bitterness towards them (well, I can say this now….my attitude was TOTALLY different a week ago!) because I don’t want it to hinder me from being genuine and open with my next potential mate.

As one of my dear friends said “your future husband is going to be so amazing you will do nothing but laugh at this entire situation when that time does come!”

As always, these are just a few thoughts “From My Hart.”